claiming freedom one step at a time

BY CHAQUANA TOWNSEND

It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery.
Galatians 5:1

As I write this blog, I am writing as a woman who is slowly allowing God to break the chains I have allowed to entangle me for years. I am writing as a woman who is constantly recognizing her overwhelming need to be renewed, cleansed, and transformed through the power of the Gospel. I am writing as a bound woman desperately fighting for her freedom. My sin and the lies of the enemy keep my heart beat down, but when I run to the throne of grace and allow my Savior to fill me with his presence and change me through his living and active word, I am changed, wrecked, and overflowing with joy! I have made a commitment to fight for freedom and walk in it. Here is a small piece of my story:

I come from a very dysfunctional background. For as long as I could remember, I have always longed to be loved and accepted by anyone who took the time to show me the attention my heart desperately craved. My father and mother scarred me very deeply and taught me this agonizing lie that I have believed for years: “You are worthless, so find your acceptance and approval somewhere because you need some worth.” I completely forgive my parents for the physical and emotional abuse I endured as a young girl; however, I fight that lie every single day.

Working in the trenches of urban ministry and having close relationships with different people, I have learned a hard truth about myself: I idolize the acceptance and approval of others. I have given mere humans beings (the children, parents, and staff at Common Ground Montgomery, along with others) the power to squash me if I don’t feel accepted by them. The Lord showed me the depth of my idolatry in the fall of 2013. When I faced this reality and cried out to God every single day for his divine intervention, I have literally seen changes in the way I interact and love on the children, parents, and staff at CGM. I can honestly and confidently say: I don’t need their acceptance and approval because I know that God accepts and approves me because of Jesus! What a freeing and amazing truth! Does it hurt when people reject me or don’t accept me? Absolutely, but my worth and value is not contingent on being accepted by them. My worth and my value is found in Christ alone. He loves me and is crazy about me! He showers his grace and love on me every single day, and I am so grateful. He has broken the chains that I have allowed to entangle me for so many years. So when my flesh is tempted to revert back to slavery, I simply fix my eyes on Jesus. 

the heart of children

by Chaquana Townsend

As I live, labor, minister, and work alongside the children at Common Ground Montgomery, I am convinced of two things: God is using them to expose the sin in my own heart, and He is constantly showing me my desperate need of a Savior. At the core of our very beings, we are unmistakably sinful.

Therefore, just as sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin, and in this way death came to all men, because all sinned (Romans 5:12). 

Due to Adam and Eve’s disobedience, sin and death have plagued mankind and continue to. With that being said, we have to come face to face with how wicked we truly are.

Anyone who works with children can see one obvious thing: children are disobedient. Children have to be told things over and over again. I vividly remember on more than one occasion giving a lecture to the 1st through 5th grade students about keeping their hands to themselves and the consequences of hitting others. As soon as I was done, I watched as children continued to hit and push each other. I was upset, frustrated, and completely blown away at the blatant disregard of what I just said. However, the Lord used instances like that and many others to show me how my heart is just like the heart of a child. I am disobedient and have to be reminded of God’s truth constantly.

The Lord uses every child and parent at CGM to push me to depend completely on His guidance and leading and to show me how much I forget the commands of God. The same way a child is utterly dependent on their parents to survive; I should be utterly dependent on the Lord in every situation. I should cry out to him when I am weak and need to be reminded of the truths found in his word. The Lord shows me every single day how much I need him in order to love the parents and children with which I work. He continues to show me how much I depend on my own strength to make it through the day instead of depending on him. God is literally saving me as I live in Washington Park. I am more like Him today because I answered the call to move into this neighborhood. My world has been turned upside down, and I see God in ways I never could have imagined. He is saving me from myself and the lies of the enemy as I live and minister in Washington Park, and I am so thankful.

The children at CGM are teaching me so much more than I could ever teach them, and one of those things is: complete and utter dependence on Jesus.