the mentoring life

BY KEVIN KING

In our vision we communicate that we are an incubator for gospel created relationships that transform Montgomery and beyond. The Mentor Program is a great avenue for cultivating these relationships as we prayerfully match mentors and mentees.

Sometimes when our students profess faith in Christ, it is difficult to follow up with them because of limited staff.

Thankfully, we have mentors who are in position to go a little deeper on an individual level. This is a journey as the mentor unpacks to the mentee what it means to know and follow Christ in all areas of life. This is an opportunity for mentors to bring their students closer to Jesus through an ongoing, one-to-one relationship.

This doesn’t necessarily mean that every time that they get together that they use it as an opportunity to have a Bible study. This does mean, however, that as mentors invest time and get to know their mentee as a person (likes, dislikes, interest, fears, passions, weaknesses, etc.) that they listen, learn, encourage, and look for opportunities to introduce them to the person of Jesus Christ.

This doesn’t only mean sharing a gospel presentation but communicating and demonstrating with their daily life in front of their mentees why and how Jesus loves them and cares a great deal for their spiritual, physical, social, and emotional well-being.

We approach mentoring this way because some, myself included, have been guilty of building relationships with the intent of winning someone to Christ without actually caring to get to know the actual person, even it doesn’t have anything to do with spirituality. We subconsciously do this with good intentions because of our desire to be an instrument of redemption that causes the angels to rejoice in heaven.

To be honest, though, people notice when we have an agenda, so the relational repercussions can be damaging once they realize that we only are in the relationship to try and lead them to Christ. But what if they never come to Christ?  Whether it is mentoring in a formal capacity with CGM, or just any other relationship, people actually want to be treated as if they are humans with real life issues instead of only some project that needs salvation. 

Being a mentor may seem not as easy, at least in this light, but we are proud to have them on board and we look forward to seeing them walk with their mentees as they both walk with Christ and share life together.

"uncle shorty"

BY KEVIN KING

I  remember  leaving  community  college and  heading  to  Tuskegee  University  in the  fall  of 1998,  and  being  told,  for  the first  time,  by  my  mother  that  it was more  wise  for  me  to focus on my education instead of getting a job and working while taking classes. At some point  I  mentioned  what  I  had  been  told by  my  mother to  an older  adult  at the time and they asked me about why was I so obsessed with working. They were curious to know -  did  most people  my age and  in my circle of  friends back  home have the same  intensity and drive to maintain a consistent and quality work ethic? 

They  proceeded  to  ask  where  did  this mentality  come  from  and  have  I  always  thought this way...  I thought for a second and it quickly dawned on me that my Uncle Shorty was the cause of this. I reflected on the time when I was eleven years old cutting his  half acre of  land every Saturday morning with a riding mower. This was always fun for me because I got to pretend that I was driving my own vehicle. Uncle Shorty would always put a Gatorade in the deep freezer and I looked forward to drinking it afterwards. He would give me $20 and I would always talk about how cheap he was even though I was getting paid to ride around and have fun.

I  usually  finished  my  duties  around  noon  and  my  Aunt  Wanda  would  often  serve  me
lunch. Many times Uncle Shorty would ask  if I wanted to stop by a  fast food restaurant
on the way home and excitedly I would say yes! He would graciously allow me to order
first. After ordering what I wanted no matter how expensive I would step aside for him to
order his food and pay for the both of us. After all, he’s the adult and I’m just a poor and
helpless 6th grader!

Uncle  Shorty,  much  to  my  disappointment,  would  tell  the clerk  that  we  had  separate
orders,  and  he  would  say,  "Kevin  you  just  worked  and  got  paid  so you  need  to  pay for your own food."  

After a few times of experiencing this same encounter, I began to think whether or not it
was more beneficial to spend my money on fast food or eat leftovers when I got home. I
always thought Uncle Shorty was just being a cheapskate until I grew up and realized that
I never had an issue holding a job, didn’t spend money on things I didn’t really need very
often, and I didn’t expect anything from anyone. This mindset didn’t happen by accident. 
Uncle Shorty took the responsibility to intentionally teach me these life skills because he
knew  the  damage  it  would  cause  if  I  didn’t  develop  a  work  ethic,  become  somewhat
independent, and understand delayed versus instant gratification. If he would’ve lectured
me  on  these  things  I  wouldn’t  have  heard  him,  so  years  of  demonstrating  this  and
allowing me to experience this really paid off especially during tough times.

I thank him for being the mentor I needed even if I didn’t understand it at the time. I get it
now, and I’m still  learning those principles that were passed along by  my Uncle Shorty
who taught me a little about what it means to be a man. My uncle  is one of  my  biggest
inspirations and a huge reason why I am so passionate about long-term mentoring.  

making an impact

BY KEVIN KING 

I went to court the other day to support a parent whose incarcerated son stood before the judge to be sentenced. After the sentencing they marched in about 15 young men who would also learn their fate. I thought of the last letter that I received from this young man vowing to not neglect to come around the men who were once involved in his life. Regrettably, he stated that if he had remained around Common Ground Montgomery he knows he would not have made the poor choices that landed him in the county jail.  

I then remembered the funeral I attended the other week of a young man and remembered the times that I visited him on the drug-infested street where he would hang out. I always asked if he was staying out of trouble and consistently tried to get time with him.

I think of others who have made poor choices only to face the consequences of their actions. I sometimes get discouraged when thinking what if I would’ve had more of an active presence in some of their lives -  would the outcome have been favorable?

Other times I remember the warnings I’ve given in the past to those making destructive decisions literally weeks before they ultimately made a decision that would remove them from society.

Last week a young man sat on my couch depressed by a string of misfortunes encountered by his family. As we sat and talked about how his older brother had been in prison the entire eight years I’ve known him. His second to the oldest brother has been in and out of jail since I’ve known him and has done other things that he hasn’t been caught for yet. Thankfully this high school senior whom I met when he was in the 5th grade has never come close to committing an act that would jeopardize his life.

It dawned on me that he has broken a generational pattern in his household. This young man actually loves the Lord and often looks forward to  our small group as well as worshipping in his own personal time with the Lord. And he is also one of the guys that his peers would consider ‘cool’. He often speaks of marrying his girlfriend one day and having a family together.

One day he placed his hand on my shoulder in one of my irritated moments and assured me that my investment in him and others wasn’t in vain because the Lord was consistently working through me to reach them. He told me that he personally was fruit of my labor!

I learned so much from this 17 year-old that night. His mother often thanks us and tells us what a wonderful job we’ve done with him in partnering with her.

Reasons like this are why I’m so passionate about the new direction of the mentoring program that is coming together at CGM. Consistency in the life of a child who often doesn’t feel hopeful about life is sadly the norm. When we as parents have the support of a friend who undergirds parents by helping to guide a child it lessens the chance of that child being involved in a destructive lifestyle.

We need mentors all over to serve families by advocating for our youth. If every child had a Godly mentor I know it would affect our neighborhood, city, education system, and fill the body of Christ with new believers and overall advance the Kingdom of God. 

Please pray for our mentor program and lasting, impactful relationships with the kids in our community.