the bad guy

BY CORNELIUS JACKSON

It comes as no surprise to me that most of my students do not respond well when disciplinary measures are implemented as a result of unacceptable behavior. In a moment, I can go from being inundated with hugs and hellos to being as unwelcomed in their presence as a nose pimple the day before prom — “Pastor C.J. — the bad guy!”

However, if a cold stare is my reward for my attempts to prepare my students for an even colder world that lies ahead, I’ll take it. And if I am not greeted when passed in the halls because I keep reiterating that passing grades are a by-product of doing homework, I’ll endure it.

Besides, when I was their age, I did the same thing.

But now, I labor to get them to embrace the counsel of Hebrews 12:11 which reads: “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”

Because I know this passage to be true in my own life, I am unapologetically committed to the betterment of my kids—both by “love and the rod” (1 Corinthians 4:21). So when the stares are stinging and dialog dies between me and a student as a result of a necessary chastisement, I will endure being the bad guy.

Because sometimes, the bad guys can be good guys in disguise!  

a story from c.j.

Cornelius "CJ" Jackson

About three weeks ago, a “normal” day at CGM proved to be anything but normal. I was making my rounds from one class to the next when I received a text message informing me that a student had been sent out of class for being disruptive and disrespectful. I returned to the lobby to discover that it was the same student that I had threatened to suspend the day before because of his bad behavior. I was livid. He would be suspended for sure today! I gathered the proper disciplinary form and prepared to call his parents. But first, he and I would have a talk. (I will call him “Billy”).

Billy slouched haphazardly in the lobby chair—his baseball cap turned sideways; his manner suggesting that he could not care less that he would be confronted by me for the second time in two days. I approached him and stood towering over him—serious and authoritative. I let him tell his side of the story and it solidified his guilt. “You will be suspended, Billy. Wait here until I fill out your paperwork.” I stormed back into the office to write up the details. As I was writing, the front door to the lobby opened and Billy’s mom entered. She had arrived (unexpected and unscheduled) to pick him up early.

Providence! 

An impromptu meeting was arranged. I told Billy to remove his cap, grab a chair, and join me and his mother in the office. There, I told the story of bad behavior from days ago until present—the fights, the near-fights, the lack of respect, the insubordination, and more. Billy’s mother cried as she listened. She implored her son to not squander the opportunities that Common Ground afforded him. “You know that we need this program, Billy. I am working and in night school. Where will you go if you get kicked out?” I was upset with Billy. I was sad for his mom as she dabbed her eyes with a napkin, now tear saturated, that I had given her earlier. She continued her pleas. 

“What’s wrong with you? What more can I do. What more do you want from me? Tell me, Billy! What else can I give you?” 

We turned our attention to Billy as he surprised us both by answering.

“...A father!”  

No way! Did that just happen? Only at the movies do you hear lines like that. But Billy was not acting. His cap, clinched tightly in his fists, was pressed hard up against his face—a face that revealed that he was vulnerable, embarrassed, and in need. I rushed to hold him in my arms. He was crying, his mother was crying, and I was crying. Through my sobs, I heard myself assuring Billy. “I will do better, son. I can be a father figure for you. Don’t cry.” We wept together and earnestly prayed in the office that evening. The disciplinary form was too damp with tears to write on. So Billy didn't get suspended. And no, he didn't get a father. But Billy got a promise—one I intend to keep. 

---

This is one of many, many stories that we find ourselves in throughout the year. It is both heart-wrenching and a great privilege to walk along and bear with those in this community. Not because we are strong while they are weak, rather perhaps, because the more easily seen cracks in the exterior reveal how desperate we all are for help from a great savior.

We used this story in our End of the Year Letter for December 2014. 

because they are worth it

BY CHAQUANA TOWNSEND

As I write yet another blog about the impact the children and parents I work with have had on my life, I write full of joy, thankfulness, and eager anticipation to one day have a family of my own. All I can say is, I am such a blessed woman! My life will never be the same because I am reminded on a daily basis how amazing God truly is when I look into the eyes of the children and parents in my community!

One thing remains evident in my mind: The families in this community are truly a gift! Every smile, every hug, every intimate moment warms my heart and fills me with great joy! Although some days are better than others, I can honestly say that God has brought me to a place where I wholeheartedly enjoy every minute I spend with the families I minister to. The hard moments reveal the sin and brokenness in my own heart that God wants to pull out. The hard moments also reveal that I am not in control, and I am in need of rescue just as much as they are. So let me introduce you to my main point: I will continue to run hard after the Lord while laying down my life for the "little ones" and their families because they are so worth it!

I want to dispel a common belief about inner-city children and families that is erroneous. I also want to share with you what God's says about this false belief.

Those children/people don't care about themselves, so why should anyone else.

One thing that I know for sure is true: Most of the parents and children that I have met who are living in the inner-city care about themselves and what's going on in their environment; however, feelings of hopelessness and frustration can cause them to give up without even trying.

When I talk to men and women as well as children in my neighborhood, they recognize that there is something wrong with their environment and the responses they often have to their environment; nonetheless, they don't know any other way to respond to difficult circumstances. More times than not, people know they shouldn't behave a certain way and comprehend the consequences that follow, but in order to survive, they choose wrongly to save face and uphold an image, or reputation. The "code of the street" is survival at any cost even if it means irreversible consequences for the rest of their lives.

Why do they care? Why should we care?

God has written his law on the hearts of mankind without us even knowing his law (Romans 2:14-15). We know the difference between right and wrong because of the fall of man. Once Adam and Eve ate from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, sin made its way into the world and every human being is affected. Our hearts inherently know when something is "good" or "bad". White or black, suburban or city, saved or unsaved, people recognize that there is something wrong with our world and long for God to intervene and make things right. Creation groans and eagerly anticipates the redemption of the world (Romans 8:18-24).

The fathers, mothers, grandmothers, grandfathers, cousins, uncles, etc, they all care about their community. The children long for their parents to love them and care about the things they care about. The families that are broken and affected by the heinous killings of their young men care! The mother and sister of the young boy who can't stay off the street care! Why wouldn't they? Every tear, every sacrifice, every setback, every hardship is worth it because many parents want better for their children. I have not met a parent who didn't realize and understand the need for God to intervene on their behalf.

I have not met a child who did not recognize the consequences of reckless living. The families in this community care about their lives; however, without the help of a Savior and the salvation of their souls, their efforts are in vain. God has sent his people to fight for them, to intercede on their behalf, to share the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and to persevere even when it’s hard! So we press on towards Jesus, actively engaged in the battle for their souls.

Why?

Because according to God's word, "They are so worth it"!!!

october newsletter is out!

Be looking in your email boxes for our latest newsletter!

Staffers Kevin King and Justin Hampton talk about their respective programs, we introduce our newest staff member, and founder Bryan Kelly shares a word the difference between acting like Christians and simply being in Christ.

For a PDF version: cgmlife.org/s/CGM-Oct-Nov-2014-Newsletter_v2b.pdf

until you step back

BY JUSTIN HAMPTON

In the type of work that we do at Common Ground Montgomery, we can often get caught up in the belief that the fruit of our efforts won't be seen, or even felt, for generations. The idea that we shouldn’t expect to see the fruits of righteousness in the children we serve can be a perpetuated thought that is given its legs in an attempt to insulate ourselves from disappointment.

We work long hours.

We tearfully pray for the life and destiny-threatening obstacles our kids face.

We watch as all too often they make poor choices and apparently disregard all the advice and so-called wisdom that we offer.

That is what we see in the moment. That is what we see when we correct a kid. That can be the daily unrewarding experience if we let it be. That is urban ministry --- until you step back; until you see the larger landscape of what God is doing here. 

Over the years we have developed ministries out of necessity. As children got older new programs had to be created that would not only create a safe place for them to be, but to inspire and introduce these aging students to change their lives and attitudes. At each phase the obstacles they face change just as their environments change.

Elementary students grow from being corrected in their respect for authority, to having to be educated about physical changes they experience and relational advances from the opposite sex. And as the program evolves for them it can appear as if the student enrolled is the same stubborn kid, destined to be like so many of their peers and on the road to continuing the cycles of poverty and pain that characterize their community --- until you step back.

Addressing new issues met with the same resistance as old ones can be frustrating until you realize that you aren’t addressing old issues because you really don’t need to anymore. The things you used to stress with this same kid don’t need to be stressed anymore because they are more mature, they have grown, they have learned. It sounds simple, but over the course of the last four or five years I’ve had the privilege to watch an amazing phenomenon: maturity.

Its growth is slow and its fruit is only seen by the most keen eye in the short term, but it is here. We now have high school youth in our urban entrepreneur program that were once 5th graders getting homework help and being told to respect their elders and given hugs for having achievement stickers on their school papers. These same students are now considering their post high school options; and good options, too. Some are preparing for college, others for joining the military, but all for a productive life, and most with the Lord leading it.

Our high school kids are what we have been looking for. They are what we have been praying for. They are the change we long to see as they continue to grow and produce two-parent families that honor the Lord, that care about their neighbors and communities, that know their worth, and see that they will not only change this neighborhood, but change the world.

Although it gets tough we have been watching the Lord bring the increase. As we plant and water he makes it grow, and the pace of growth can be painfully slow --- until you step back.